History/Contact Details

Its About Music, Mostly……..

For demo’s, interview requests, declarations of love, job offers and all manner of depravity
CONTACT : Vonpip@yahoo.co.uk


The Von Pip Musical Express is the work of Andy Von Pip (unless otherwise stated ) and this is his incredibly moving story. . . you may need a handkerchief. . .

The Early Days

In his first flush of youth a cherubic fresh-faced young Andy fell in love with something his parents described as a ‘god awful cacophony of talentless, directionless anger’. Yes he had fallen hook line and safety pin for the musical enema that was Punk, a savage incendiary explosion that  effectively flushed away the egotistical histrionics of  becaped hippies obsessed with Arthurian legends, who regularly  produced sprit crushing self indulgent wankathons known somewhat grandly  as ‘rock operas.’  Although too young to experience the first wave of punk it inspired young Andy to form a band, dye his hair various shades of red, blue and yellow and wear a safety pin through his ear. This made his parents VERY proud.  His band the little heard, barely talented Distant Echos was built primarily around  Andy’s distinctive song writing style which could be described as “a mesmerising folly of epic proportions”. With an autistic guitarist called Simon, a drummer called Tony who was openly into cross dressing  but a closet prog rock fan, a psychotic bassist known as  “Colombia” for reasons we best not divulge here  and a keyboard player called Janie who couldn’t play but who Andy fancied so much that he actually wrote a song about her , it was not a match in heaven made. With songs such as “Self Destruct 1-2-3”, “Global Chernobyl” and Andy’s touching homage to the aforementioned Janie, “Blood Rush (When I Think Of You Girl”) allied to a sonorous vocal style that was not dissimilar to Shane MacGowan having his testicles removed with a rusty spoon,  a future in music looked  about as likely as Michael Barrymore being employed as a lifeguard. Tragically the band split after just two explosive gigs  in the time honoured tradition- over musical direction (ie/ when the music started the audience headed in the direction of the nearest exit). Simon was first to leave citing  irreconcilable  autistic differences and the rest soon followed.   However  Andy’s passion for music prevailed and he consumed music with the same sort of voracity displayed by Dawn French toward all things edible.  He became an avid gig goer and  loved the Jesus & Mary Chain and Lush above all others, but always kept on open mind with regard to all genres and musical styles ( although he never has and never will understand Queen’s status as an untouchable musical deity).  He began to write , some may say quite successfully, for a number of magazines and fanzines before tragically  retiring at the age of  just 27 on health grounds. The diagnosis looked grim, it appeared that Andy was suffering from terminal apathy.

The VPME- The Raison d’être

Marina And Von Pip

However some years later a great darkness fell across the musical world, and a sinister shadow was cast by a man whose bizarre oblong head was filled with avaricious intent and whose greed appeared infinite. He commenced a campaign which knew no shame in its debasement of popular culture for financial gain. It was all so easy-his ethos was simple- “there’s nowt more stupid then people” and  in no time at all he had brain washed an entire generation into believing that he somehow had a magical  insight into what constituted real musical talent. He goes by many names, none are complimentary, but you may know him by his preferred moniker- Simon Cowell. In his role as musical Dementor he was able to manufacture singers who had the uncanny ability to extract all emotion, meaning and indeed soul out of any song.

At the same time Andy had been discovering new bands via a medium known as  “the  internet”,  unearthing music which spoke to his very soul . This new breed of   musician had a D.I.Y ethic that appealed to Andy’s punk roots and he came across bands from every genre, blessed with  the sort of style and talent that would confuse and confound Cowell and his fey cackling  little leprechaun sycophant, Louis Walsh.  However Cowell knew the price of everything and the value of nothing and he could see that music being produced by people with  genuine talent, who (wait for it), wrote their own songs and played their own instruments, could threaten his insidious place of worship for  the terminally shite . His only option was to expand his poisonous tentacles into every corner of the globe, brain washing people into accepting that the bawling histrionic power ballad was the only form of musical and artistic expression that had any merit.


David Vs Goliath

Andy could stand it no longer and the Von Pip Musical Express (the VPME) was born. Since its inception Andy’s humble musical organ has been voted in the BT Digital Music awards top ten music blogs and nominated in the Record of the Day Journalism and PR music awards, being named as runner up in 2009.  Andy was also a  member of ‘The BBC’s Sound Of 2010 taste-makers panel’ and has had press accreditation for numerous gigs and festivals including Liverpool Sound City , The Great Escape And Glastonbury. He is also a some time promoter in his home town of Liverpool  putting on gigs featuring some of the most exciting up and coming bands about these here parts and beyond.  The challenge still remains, to try and give great new bands a platform and to loosen Cowell’s cankerous grip on popular culture. It’s a tall order, but somebody has to try for f**ks sake. Who’s in ?


VPME Review Promo video 2008

Andy Von Pip




  1. heya! · March 30, 2008

    check me out, tell me what you think at my myspace just released first e.p/demo, then come interview me it willbe fun like a night in the slums!!!

    jamie day


  2. Chelsea Blagger · June 9, 2008

    It’s all Girls Girls Girls with you mate, if John Peel had followed the same criteria for his musical prerequisites we would have seen better musi cthan the cock rock I listened to when I was a little florid haired hippie, Saxon, Denim and Leather ? Lets Rock I say !

    By the way have you noticed that Boris Johnson is on the front cover of the EP ‘Sleep With Me’ by the early 90’s albino rockers BIRDLAND.

  3. Tom · December 6, 2008

    I run a website that showcases new bands and I stop by your site from time to time to see what I can see.

    One of the bands on my site, Robotanists, is releasing a CD on the 9th and I think they’re something you might be interested in. Here’s a video of them performing the “single” live.



  4. Tom · January 10, 2009


    Blue Comet Café (www.bluecometcafe.com) is a virtual showcase club for on-the-verge touring and recording artists. We videotape live performances (4 cameras/multitrack audio) of bands and singer/songwriters that are ready to step forward and achieve the recognition they deserve. No lip-synching. No overdubs. Just great people playing live.
    Currently featured on our Main Stage is a distinctive singer/songwriter, Matt Duke.

    Matt has just released his second CD, “Kingdom Underground”, on Rykodisc.  We think Matt’s great and this is an amazing performance. Watch it at http://www.bluecometcafe.com .

  5. Beano · July 4, 2010

    hahahahaha f**king hilarious. You got some style Von Pip

  6. Baby Doll · July 20, 2010

    LOVE the ethos , I’m in honey-pie x

  7. Anonymous · September 15, 2010

    Hi there🙂

    My name is Sahara Starr and I am about to release my first rock album.

    It’s a culmination of years of personal effort and I have spent my life’s savings to produce it myself. If you’re interested, please check out a sample at http://Sahara.ws < one of my tracks plays there automatically so please turn up your speakers (it may take a moment to start playing).

    I am looking for partners to help me promote my album. I am willing to donate a portion of the revenues to a charity of your choice and/or give the funds directly back to you in the form of commissions.

    Additionally, I'd be willing to consider doing some free photo modeling or video spokesperson work for your company, if you have that need for any products or services related to your website. I would do this in exchange for your support, such as announcing my album on your site using the animation you see at the address above or a banner I could make to your specifications. Also, if you are amenable to it, perhaps we could somehow include an announcement in any email correspondence you have with your user/member base – however it would be done, we could discuss a revenue split on any reasonable basis.🙂

    Finally, when you go to my site, you will see a really cool CD animation. I have the ability to create this custom animation for any artist and if you\'d like to resell that service and earn more commissions, we can discuss that as well. As you will see, the CD booklet for my album is 16 pages, but I can create an animation like that one for 4, 8, 12, 16, or 20 pages, all custom made for any artist, producer or record label.

    Thanks for reading this and feel free to contact me any time at Sahara@Starr.ws

    Warmest regards,
    Sahara Starr

  8. Simon Maddison · July 12, 2011

    Awesome stuff man very witty banter! I am an up and coming songwriter who is seeking exposure from all corners of the online realm and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind checking out my music?

    I have released an EP which is available at the following link:

  9. Pingback: A super amazing review on VonPipMusicalExpress « The Finger

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